Scene: Open on Nick's Gyros, small Greek restaurant in Sioux Falls, where two people, a husband and a wife, are waiting in line to order at the front counter. They both eye the menu inquisitively. Suddenly, it is their turn. They approach the man at the counter.
Man: (stares vacantly at the couple, pencil in hand. He has the dead eyes of a man who has worked too long and too hard, and now no longer gives a crap about what you would like on your sandwich)
Rebecca: Hi, I'd like the gyro plate and some baklava.
Man: Would you huma-sever-mmmuh huh-fing?
Rebecca: What was that?
Man: (looking exasperated) Everything on the sandwich?
Rebecca: Oh. Yes, thanks.
Dave: I'll have the gyro sandwich, toppings on the side.
The couple pays and walks over to a table to wait.
Dave: (looks around at decorations) The Greeks really have to get over using only blue and white.
(A fifteen minute conversation ensues about the development of the Roman arch. Abriged due to complete pointlessness of conversation)
The food arrives.
Rebecca: One little piece of feta? How sad. I need cheese. I'm from Wisconsin.
Dave: (eating a french fry) These are not good.
Dave: No, I'm saying that because they're not good.
Rebecca: (shrugs and eats all the fries) Want a piece of baklava?
Rebecca: Lunch meetings?
Dave: Yep. Didn't pay for either one.
Rebecca: (takes a bite of baklava) I hate you.
Dave: How is it?
Rebecca: Pretty good. Not bad, but I've had better.
Dave: Yeah, that's how I feel about this whole meal. They definitely benefit being the only Greek place in town. If Oakland's Gyros was to open up here, they'd blow them out of the water.
Rebecca: Is that a chain?
Dave: (looks highly affronted) I never took you to Oakland's Gyros in Milwaukee? (Another long rant ensues about the virtues of Oakland's Gyros.)....and they don't cut their meat right! It's supposed to be long strips of meat, not chunks!
Dave: It was ok, but I have no real desire to come here again.
Rebecca: I don't know. It was kind of greasy, but I'd come here again. It was not expensive at all, the portions were pretty big, and it gives me my gyro fix. Win.
Note: Actual conversations in this drama may have been altered without altering their meaning or the eventual outcome. If you would like to perform this play at your school or community theater, please contact the administrator.