MUWHAHA Dave stole the Blog

I STOLE YOUR BLOG!

Rebecca keeps blogging on this thing talking about great gourmet this and saffron infused that... blah blah blah.  I am here to give you the real skinny on how we eat.  She probably doesn't want me to post these because the snooty Foodie Out of Water doesn't want you do know she secretly likes.... normal food.  Like just the other day I was about to be forced to eat at some new fangled hole-in-the-wall kitschy place.  When I turned the steering wheel at the last moment, where did we arrive but the Pizza Ranch in Tea.

The food was so great.  My first course was a bowl of chicken noodle soup.  It was divine; tasted exactly like George Webb's Nuclear Noodle.  Anyone who has craved a crappy delicious soup at 2:00 AM can appreciate that.  To accompany this great soup was a simple iceburg lettuce salad with lots of cheese, ranch and bacon bits.  I of course made it myself at the well stocked buffet.

I bet Foodie's don't like buffets but seriously what could be better then half day old lettuce with luke warm dressing covered in chemicalized bacon flavored pieces.  Of course the coupe de grace' was the mashed potatoes.  Clearly made from some highly scientific powder with milk added.  YUMMY you would be amazed at science's control over potatoes.  the gravy was some chicken-based flavored treat.  It really brought out the potato flavoring in the potato product.  My fine beverage was this concoction which was a soft serve root beer float.  I mean who wouldn't want that.

The establishments second course consisted of pepperoni pizza, cheese pizza, Cheesy Ranch Sticks, and some sauce that was really spicy that I think Pizza Ranch might have invented to accompany pizza.  Basically you sprinkle tiny drops of this little red stuff and it makes the pizza taste like God made it for you.  At first I was petrified to eat the cheese sticks.  I remembered the cheese sticks from high school that were so greesy you could oil your car with them.  Surely these couldn't live up to those high standards.  But I was afraid for nothing; the sticks clogged every artery I had with the same speed as my high school cheesy breads.

Although no waitress mentioned dessert, I still felt I owed it to you the audience to eat the food.  The course was an apple cobbler pizza covered in soft serve.They work very hard to keep the soft serve extra soft and servey here at the Ranch.  That dish was just over the top good.  You would never believe that pizza could be cobler and the milk could be almost like ice cream except with out all the flavor, texture, and cream.

In conclusion, Rebecca and I loved the Ranch so much we think we might have to recommend it to the Food Network for a Foodie Award.  Below is a picture of how much we enjoyed the food.

Mmm, Meat(less)

I have this idea in my head that all meat eaters should eat at least one vegetarian dinner a week. I'd aim for more, but I'm not sure if I could convince a certain someone to eat meatless more than one day a week. Its not that Dave is against vegetarian meals, its more that he seems to consider many of my meal ideas to be not really meals. Broccoli and a baked potato sounds like a meal to me; he seems to disagree.

So the challenge, really, is to come up with a vegetarian meal that actually tastes substantial, hearty, dare I say, almost meaty? There's really one fool proof way to get a meat eater to at least try a vegetarian dish, and I'm sure you'll find that I use this tactic quite frequently--- FRY IT! Does it make food healthy? No. Could you perhaps be taking out a lot of the value of consuming those vitamin laden veggies by coating them in a layer of oil? Most definitely. But hey, you have to start somewhere.

 And I'm starting with Falafel. First time I've ever made it, so lets see how it goes. First, lots of smashing.

This is where I've really come to appreciate my excellent tater masher/pastry blender from Pampered Chef; if anyone's going to break on of these, it'll be me, from the way I use it. The ingredients in this bowl include:

• 1 (15 ounce) can chickpeas (garbanzo beans), drained
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1/2 cup fresh parsley
• 2 cloves garlic, chopped
• 1 egg
• 2 teaspoons ground cumin
• 1 teaspoon ground coriander
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 dash pepper
• 1 pinch cayenne pepper
• 1 teaspoon lemon juice
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 cup dry bread crumbs

Adapted from a recipe by Sean

It looks like a lot, but it's not really. Mix all these ingredients together, then shape into patties. Heat up about an inch of oil in a pan until droplets of water "pop" when sprinkled into the pan. Arrange patties in the pan, but don't overcrowd; they'll cook a lot faster. Turn to brown both sides; drain on paper towel.

They look kind of like mini hamburgers, don't they?

I initially intended to make cucumber yogurt dill sauce with this as well, but encountered an unfortunate snafu. I bought Hyvee brand plain yogurt to make it, because it was the cheapest. Turns out, not the smartest idea. I assumed all PLAIN yogurt was the same; unflavored yogurt. How much variance can you really get from that? Turns out Hyvee means "plain" like I mean these falafel are fat free. Which is, not at all. It was sickeningly sweet---perhaps I should have been clued in by how high sugar appears on the ingredients list.

  So needless to say, cucumber yogurt dill sauce was not made. I did, however, prepare some sliced cucumber with a great marinade as a side (cider vinegar, oil, sugar, seasoning salt and pepper. Seriously, awesome). Serve with some warm pitas, maybe some tahini or ranch, and you've got a meal fit for a meat eater.

I honestly wasn't really sure how these would turn out, so I was pretty happy with the result. They were tender on the inside, crunchy on the outside, and nicely spiced. I'd make it again! I think Dave might even eat it again.

Speaking of Dave, in the next week, he may be stealing my blog for a post. He seems to feel that a certain view point on food is not being expressed. I believe he said it will either be about a ham sandwich or Taco Bell. We shall all see----NEXT!

The Cookie Experiments

It's been said once or twice that I can't leave a recipe alone. Its not anything major in my opinion: a little mustard in the egg salad here, a little mint in the ice cream there---I just like to see what happens when you, you know, add a little something. It's probably part of why I love America's Test Kitchen--the cooking show for tweakers. Case in point:


The Cookie Experiments

Cookies are probably one of the easiest baked goods to mess with, partly because small changes can have big effects. Of course, this means that you can easily get results that you DIDN'T intend---I make cookies less in the summer, because the ambient heat/humidity always gives me flat cookies. Still, I've rarely found even a flop to be totally inedible.

This week, I decided to use up some more of my seemingly endless supply of wheat flour and make an all-wheat flour cookie. I searched around for a basic recipe that I could futz with and came upon this one:

Whole Wheat Snickerdoodles I

adapted from a recipe by Marguerite

• 1/2 cup butter
• 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon cream of tartar
• 2 tablespoons white sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1. Cream butter and sugar till fluffy. Add egg and vanilla. Beat well. Add dry ingredients.
2. Shape dough into 1 inch balls and roll in sugar cinnamon mixture. Place 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheets. Flatten slightly with a drinking glass.
3. Bake at 375 degrees F (190 degrees C) for 8-10 minutes.

 I mixed up the dough as required, holding myself back from changing anything right away.

Ok fine, I lied. I added a little cinnamon to the mix as well. I have problems, ok?
Next, I made one batch as usual not changing anything else (really!). I gave them plenty of space on the baking sheet, just in case they spread out like crazy.

After the first batch, I decided they could use a little richness. So, I threw in maybe a 1/3 cup of Heath Bits. They melt really well in cookies, creating buttery, sweet pockets of flavor.

But was that enough? No. After the second batch, I still had enough dough left for an additional tweak, so I threw in about a tablespoon of molasses. Finally, with all the dough used up, it was time to compare the results:

There isn't a ton of difference, visually between the first batch (far left) and the second (center), but I think there is definitely a visible change for the third. And the taste was definitely noticeable. I think both additions I made added to the flavor of the cookie, although the addition of molasses also altered the texture. The cookie became denser, with a definite chew. I like the molasses, but I think I'd need to find a way to make them less dense. Maybe white sugar instead? Of course, I could always just go back to another one of my favorites: Whole Wheat Ginger Snaps. Am I just trying to make these the hard way?

The Trials of Portion Control

All the diets out there will tell you: if you want to lose weight, you have to control your portions. Granted, it also tends to have something to do with eating more broccoli than bacon and some form of exercise.

Portion control can be tricky though. Other than the fact that food just tastes good and you want more of it, sometimes the food industry does not do you any favors. Case in point: tonight's meal. I decided to make Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo. Check out the size of this single chicken breast:

That's ONE chicken breast. If you're trying to keep track of your calorie intake, this hefty chicken breast would probably count as 2-3 portions. It sort of disturbs me that chicken breasts have become this huge; I can't imagine how gigantic these chickens are.

Then there's aesthetics. With a bowl this big, doesn't it just look like you should, you know, just fill it with ice cream?

It's hard to resist eating more than you know you should. So, if you want to convince yourself that just one is enough, you have to make it look good, and taste like enough.

Introducing, the highly adaptable, filling and freezable,

Homemade Granola Bars

 adapted from a recipe by Aliceyn Fokuhl

 3 cups quick cooking oats

14 oz can condensed milk

2 tbsp butter

  1/2cup coconut

1 cup pecans

1/2 cup cranberries

1/2 cup chocolate chips

1/2 cup crisp rice cereal

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease a 9x13 inch pan.
2. In a large bowl, mix together the oats, sweetened condensed milk, butter, coconut, pecans, chocolate chips, cranberries and crisp rice cereal with your hands until well blended. Press flat into the prepared pan.
3. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes in the preheated oven, depending on how crunchy you want them. Lightly browned just around the edges will give you moist, chewy bars. Let cool for 5 minutes, cut into rectangular bars then let cool completely before serving. 

Notes: The original author's notes on this basically state that when she makes these, she uses 3 cups of oats, and then "3-4 cups of whatever," which is a pretty good guide for how versatile this is. I really like the addition of crisp rice to lighten up the bars, and make them a bit less dense. After you cut the bars and let them cool, wrap each bar individually in saran wrap, and throw the extras in the freezer. It's a great breakfast or snack.

Try these and you won't regret it!

OMF seeks MPLR

I came to an important realization today.

I haven't been to any amazing restaurants here. It sounds sort of disheartening, but its also interesting how long its taken me to notice.

When it comes to food, even foodies get complacent, accepting...we don't expect that every place that we go to is going to be great, and we take comfort in the familiarity of chains when we need to. So after a while, you forget that there was a time when thinking of a breakfast sandwich made your mouth water, and imagining eating an expensive fish dish made you want to start saving up so you could justify eating it again as soon as possible.

It sounds like I'm treating food as a metaphor for something else right now, doesn't it?

It's impossible to not be hopeful, though. This weekend, I had a certain vegetarian friend visit, and I tried to find a restaurant with good vegetarian options for her. Given that the John Morrell & Co. meat processing plant is in Sioux Falls and whole regions smell like bacon all the time, I don't think a lot of people really get vegetarianism here.

 Vegetarianism may have not made it to Sioux Falls, but the Double Down certainly has! Source

We went to Puerto Vallarta, a local Mexican restaurant in town, mostly because they had a sizeable number of things on their menu that did not include meat, and they seemed to grasp the difference between cheese and processed cheese food. Mexican food in general is usually not that hard to make vegetarian, and their options are usually not too bad.

This was something else. I don't want to turn this into a big rag on Puerto Vallarta, because as a restaurant, I'm sure lots of people would be fine with it, and they didn't do anything wrong really, customer service-wise. So I'll just put it in the words of my friend: "it is, in fact, possible to a) ruin a vegetarian burrito and b) use too much butter in cooking."

Harsh words from a lady from the Dairy State. This burrito was, despite being full of vegetables, the most buttery thing I have ever eaten. 


Which just sort of gives you further proof that this town does not get vegetarianism. Its as if they were trying to mask the taste of vegetables (eww! gross!) with as much butter as possible, as if no one, even someone who ordered a vegetarian burrito, would ever actually want to taste vegetables.


So, I'm a little disheartened right now. I almost don't want to go to restaurants anymore. I'm just not sure that this level of mediocrity is worth it. Or maybe I should post an ad, like in the personals section:

OMF seeks MPLR: Open-Minded Foodie who's been disappointed by the dining scene in the past, seeks Moderately Priced Local Restaurant to patronize on a long term basis. Fresh ingredients and creativity is a must. Open to any ethnicity. Message me if interested.   

Props to my sis for giving me the personals idea in her dance blog, All She Wants to Do Is. With any luck, we'll both find the illusive restaurant/dance partner we both seek.

Camp Food: A Lesson from the Pros

Want to learn how to make really awesome camp food? Take a lesson from the manly men of the South Dakota Canoe and Kayak Association. This past weekend, I was fortunate enough to enjoy the kayaking expertise and devour the food of these experienced outdoorsmen. But on to the food,


Step one: The Dutch Oven

This is not your mommy's Le Creuset (although I do loooove their new Cassis color). Traditional dutch ovens like these were meant for camp fire cooking: heavy cast iron, standing on approx. 2 inch high feet, with a lipped lid, meant for piling coals under and on top of for heating from both directions. All of these meals were prepared in a dutch oven like these two.

Step Two: The Ingredients

  Camp food is usually a fascinating mixture of real, fresh ingredients, prepared in a simple, hearty style....

And unabashedly canned and store bought ingredients, used for their convenience and portability. I'm not sure if I'd ever seen canned chicken breast before. Yet somehow, it all comes out tasting amazing. Maybe its the camping, maybe it's the company.

Step Three: The Food

We had three awesome dutch oven dishes. The first was a stew, made from tender marinated steak, potatoes, red onion, red, orange and yellow peppers with a dash of salt and pepper.

Cory, who made this dish, marinated the steak beforehand and brought it along in a cooler, so it had plenty of time to get deliciously tender. It was simple, fresh, and delicious.

Next, we had a tortilla soup, made by Peter. He says it was "just a Shore Lunch mix," but really, he's being modest. 16 cups of water, 2 packets of tortilla soup mix, a can of diced tomatoes, canned chicken breast, heat it all up and voila!

 
  It tastes a lot better than the picture I took. Add some crumbled tortilla chips, a dollop of sour cream and a sprinkling of cheddar cheese, and dear Lord, was that amazing. And this pot was HUGE. It was also completely not what I would expect to eat on a camping trip with a bunch of guys. I think I might be looking for some Shore Lunch mix for myself next week.

Finally, we concluded with what turned out to be the group favorite: Enchiladas, again, made by Peter (who I should clearly camp with more often). He took probably a pound of hamburger meat, fried it up, added a can of cream of chicken and a can of cream of mushroom soup, then spooned the mixture into tortillas and folded them up. After the meat mixture was mostly gone, he piled the tortilla wraps back into the dutch oven, shelving them in layers upward. Then, he poured a can of enchilada sauce on top, smothering it with cheese, and covering it back up to bake for a few minutes. It came out like this:

Mmm, cheese. I'm not a huge fan of ground beef, but the enchiladas were muy tasty. It was more of a casserole than my traditional idea of an enchilada, but still way more elaborate than what I usually make.

Then, we of course concluded the evening with S'mores, despite being way too full. There's always room in this belly for a s'more.

All in all, I was very impressed by what these guys could make over a fire. Admittedly, when I go camping, I usually cook with a Coleman camp stove, because I'm convinced I'll burn anything over a fire (which I usually do). However, this weekend really made me want to try my hand at real campfire cooking more. Maybe when Dave and I go to the Black Hills some time later this summer, we'll challenge ourselves to just use the campfire to cook. It may be hard though; I really like my camp stove.

Thanks to Cory and the SDCKA for killer vittles and an awesome time!

What do you make when you go camping?

Workin' What You Got

It used to be, whenever I wanted to bake something, I would just go down to the store and buy whatever ingredients I needed. And no, I was not formerly independently wealthy (unless you count "living with your parents" as being independently wealthy). I just placed "brownies" in the same necessary category as "ibuprofen" and "kleenex;" when you need it, you need it.

Now, I'm trying to live a little smarter; I don't ALWAYS make cupcakes on a whim, and I try to not go out for every single ingredient I need.

Case in point: last Thursday, I wanted to bake. However, I decided that instead of making something based on my own whims, I would make something based on what I actually HAD. Imagine that. So, I started with a few ingredients;

 That's vegetable oil, pumpkin puree, white chocolate, and pecan pieces. And from this, along with some other ingredients, I made...

Pumpkin White Chocolate Pecan Muffins with Cream Cheese Drizzle

3/4 c. sugar

1/4 c. vegetable oil (substitute apple sauce for less fat)

3/4 c. canned pumpkin

1/4 c. water

1 1/2 c. flour

3/4 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp cloves

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp ginger

1/4 tsp nutmeg

dash allspice

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 c. white chocolate chips

1/3 c. pecan pieces

1. Preheat oven at 375 degrees. Grease and flour muffin pan, or use paper liners.

2. Mix sugar, oil and eggs together. Add pumpkin and water. In a separate bowl, mix together the dry ingredients. More or less spices can be added if you prefer. Mix wet and dry ingredients together. Add the white chocolate chips.

3. Pour mix into prepared muffin tins, and fill cups 2/3 full. I prefer to sprinkle on the pecans at this point, because I think they taste better just on top, but you can mix them into the batter, if you like.

4. Bake for 20 minutes, or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean.

5. Allow to cool for a few minutes, then remove the muffins from the tin to cool. While the muffins are cooling, prepare the:

Cream Cheese Drizzle

1-2 tbsp cream cheese

1 c. powdered sugar

1-2tbsp milk

Mix the ingredients together in a small bowl until smooth. You can add more or less powdered sugar until it is to the consistency you prefer. You'll want to be able to drizzle it off a spoon, but you want it to hold it's shape a bit, like a thin frosting.

6. Drizzle the frosting over the muffins. And EAT!